Eightface

by Dave Kellam

Fatness on report cards?

A state senator from Texas wants to send Body Mass Index information home on student report cards. Senator Van dePutte is proposing a state law requiring schools to weigh students, compute their body mass index, and send that information home on their report cards.

Sounds like it would do wonders for the kids. We have this stereotypical vision of Texans, courtesy of television, the movies and the president but I honsestly can’t see parents being so dumb they don’t realize their kid is fat.

But, it can’t hurt to look at a potential scenario one year from now:

Billy Ray Jr: Lookee pa, it says I’ma passin the fourth grade!
Billy Ray Sr: Holdup son, this number here says you’re fat.
Billy Ray Sr: Move o’er in the light here a bit.
Billy Ray Jr: But Ma says I’s justa little husky.
Billy Ray Sr: Sweet Lord in Heaven boy, you’re big as a prime steer!
Billy Ray Sr: You’re a goin’ on the Atkins.

Honestly, do they need to give the teacher’s something else to do? Can someone tell me that there aren’t other areas in education that woud benefit from the time spent weighing each child in the class, computing a bmi and adding it to the child’s permanent records?

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