Eightface

by Dave Kellam

Solution to the Election Problem

US Election Map 2004Well, the election seems to be over for now and Bushy seems to have won. This is a major concern for some people, especially those in the northern states that seemed to vote for the other guy. So, what do we do about the problem of all these disenfranchised people? Why look at the pretty coloured map, all of the blue states have a direct path into the frigid nation to the north. Except Hawaii of course, but it’s a backwater and doesn’t have any roads.

The obvious solution for the blue guys is to join Canada. It’s not like Canada controlling the North-Eastern US is a new idea, we captured and burned the White House during the War of 1812. Those western states would be a nice addition though — through them Canada would control most of the west coast (minus Alaska) and the United But Somewhat Fewer Number of States of America (UBSFNSA) would have to have to go through us to get to the Pacific.

It’s not going to happen, but adding New York and California to Canada would effectively triple the size of the nation. After the states have joined us, the newly formed Canadatu could unilaterally declare war on the UBSFNSA and bring democracy to the embattled nation.

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