Eightface

by Dave Kellam

Balls

Champion horse missing balls: “When horses are on display they often retract their testicles. You cannot see them, and judges are not at liberty to start groping horses’ balls.”

September 29, 2003

Cash bonus coupons

Gah, test and essays and assignments already. It feels like I haven’t really stopped since school started a couple of weeks ago. I think half of it has to do with the newspaper turning Sunday into a nonexistent day and Monday into a late and tired one. It seems like the week is short and my time just disappears.

My parents came up on the weekend; we had some breakfast and did a bit of shopping. I picked up a bookcase for my room and ended up getting a birthday present a little bit early. My new toy is a Palm Zire 71, i’m liking it. The screen is beautiful, really nice to look at. I think that I’ll probably end up reading more books; ebooks aren’t all that hard to find and it’s pretty easy to pull out the palm and start reading.

Here are a few random links that won’t go on the sidebar: Man arrested with snakes down pants, Frank Black tries to prove himself on his own message board, Copyright and Fairuse and Fighting the Fevers (here’s an excerpt): “This encounter between the world’s richest man and some of the world’s poorest prostitutes is part of Mr. Gates’s new passion: doing to AIDS and malaria what he did to Netscape”.

September 24, 2003

Go

Go read this week’s issue of golden words. There was a lot of short stuff this time around, and we published a bunch of new people. It still took awhile to get done, and we had a shitty last page as a result. Well not shitty, but it could have been better.

September 18, 2003

Results May Vary

Limp Bizkit has a cover of The Who’s Behind Blue Eyes on their new album. I’m not sure if I like it. The album, called Results May Vary is ok, there are only one or two songs that really feel manufactured for the radio. Their cover of Behind Blue Eyes isn’t horrible, they didn’t butcher it, it might grow on me. The song does some weird stuff around the end though. I remember picking up their first album before they took off, it was good metal. I like some of the stuff on the second album, then they stopped doing much for me. This is alright.

September 18, 2003

Oh, there’s more

I think it’s more fun to be a resident of Ontario than a resident of California. Our leadership race with two candidates provides more entertainment than a field of 130 laced with actors. Check out this article on some of the mudslinging in Ontario’s election race. This is a copy of the actual email that was sent by a staffer at Ernie Eves’ campain headquarters:

Subject: Dear Mister McGuinty

Dear Mister McGuinty

An Occasional Bulletin from Ernie Eves Campaign Headquarters

September 12, 2003

There came a fork in “the high road.” The Liberals took it.

“Ernie Eves is either incompetent and doesn’t know his own platform, or he is purposely misleading Ontario voters.”

— Deputy Liberal Leader Sandra “Better Angels of our Nature” Pupatello, September 12, 2003

“The Eves government isn’t just incompetent. It can actually put you in the hospital – or worse.”

— Hamilton Mountain Liberal MPP Marie “Is Everybody Happy?” Bountrogianni, September 11, 2003

“You can’t trust Ernie Eves when it comes to nuclear safety.”

— St. Paul’s Liberal MPP Michael “China Syndrome” Bryant, September 11, 2003

These jolly, positive, “Who-me-fear-monger?” pronouncements beg a simple question:

“Who really speaks for the Ontario Liberal Party?

Dalton McGuinty. He’s an evil reptilian kitten eater from another planet. (sorry)

There isn’t a whole lot to the article, other than Eves not actually retracting the statement, rather acknowledging that it was over the top and that his staffers should be given less coffee.

September 15, 2003

Fuck, the night is young!

You are Slackware Linux

You are Slackware Linux. You are the brightest among your peers, but are often mistaken as insane. Your elegant solutions to problems often take a little longer, but require much less effort to complete.

Which OS are You?

September 15, 2003