Eightface

by Dave Kellam

New Hampshire’s Loss

New Hampshire’s is a state in mourning today, upon the discovery that the beloved Old Man of the Mountain had in fact fallen off the mountain. The pile of rocks on the side of the mountain resembles the face of an old man, an image that has graced coins, license plates, and other state paraphernalia for many years. The pile of rocks has become an enduring symbol of something-or-other for the state.

“I’m absolutely devastated by this,” said Masterman. “It makes you wonder if God is unhappy with what is going on.”

I bet God is unhappy with what’s going on. So unhappy that he wanted to jab an icepick right through the hearts of the infidels and unfaithful. Unfortunately all these infidel types seem to be in hiding these days, so he figured that knocking over a pile of rocks in New Hampshire would suffice. Frankly, I expect more out of a state with the motto, “Live Free or Die“.

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